i have to be up in about 4 hours but i cant fall asleep. i keep wondering what this year is gonna be like. i was excited just 2 weeks ago about going back but i have realized that this semseter a lot of the people i use to hang around arent gonna be on campus ne more :( it bothers me that i might be left out. i guess ill have to find a new niche of sorts but unfortunately one of the problems with going to such a large university is that many times people already have there close circle of friends and arent as willing to open the doors and invite new people in. i just wish for a sense of belonging as corny as that might sound.

my last night here at home. yay. but i dunno unfortunately for me alot of my friends this semester are living off campus. hopefully i wont be stuck in my dorm doing nothing while all my friends forget about me. i have a car but parking is a hassle. i really shoulda choosen to live off campus this year and i had the chance too but i had to gamble with getting a better dorm too bad i got stuck with jester again. it wont be that bad, lets hope my roommate is "normal" this time around.

so i was watching nightline again and the topic of whether or not the university of north carolina should have required its incoming freshaman to read a book covering the basics of the quran was discussed. well of course the christian right was once again crying foul citing the seperation of church and state, an idea that usually doesnt go towards their benefit. dont get me wrong im probably the biggest proponent of a clear division between governement and religion, however what cannot be tolerated is hypocrisy. for generations our education system has favored chrstianity. from the very small such as refering to winter break as chrstimas break, something thats not a big deal, semantics thats all. to teaching that columbus did gods work in converting the "savage" indians to chrstians, what schools leave out is the fact that he enslaved or killed those indians who chose not to adandone there old views. more recently student led prayer during school functions has been high on the agenda. the same arguments the chrstian right is making against the university of north carolina can be made against their attempts to saturate our schools with there right winged conservative fundamentalist views. they argue that such reading does not teach the truth concerning islam; these individuals truly believe that muslims are misguided people engaged in an evil religion. agreed seperation of chruch and state is crucial but lets not be hypocrits, please.

i was thinking about an old bus driver that i had in middle school. she was probably one of the most anal retentive people ive ever met. a person just looking for a power trip even if it was against a bunch of lil kids. every so often should would randomly stop people before they got of her bus and search their backpacks, nope not for drugs alcohol or weapons but instead CANDY. one day she just disappeared and we never saw her again. apparently a parent complained about the obvious intrusion of privacy. i was just thinking if she did such a thing in a bad neighborhood she'd probably find herself capped! why do people find pleasure in controlling others? for god sake you were just a freaking bus driver...

They Needed a Study for This?

craving green tea...

i need to pack.... less then four days now :-D

went to buy towels and stuff today...
never knew buying towels could be so much trouble

so i finished the clancy novel
it wasnt that good...but it wasnt that bad either
starting the grisham book tomorrow
gotta find a different vaiety of authors
anyone ever heard of walter mosely?

still trying to figure out what to make of all this...
my head hurts :(

i wish life was a big SNOOPY...

my horoscope.....geeez:
Do whatever you can to avoid creating conflicts today, either at work or at home. Your confidence could use a bit of a boost, but if you look to others to shore up your flagging spirits you will be disappointed. Take some time for yourself to reflect upon the root of your insecurities. You are the only one who can restore your self-confidence, dear Virgo.

so now i wait...

bought two more books yesterday a grisham novel and another by clancy. started the clancy book yesterday its boring dunno if i'll finish it.

we learn much about ourselves through our friends...

so i lied,
ended up going to reunion
a little slow getting started but overall worth going.

finished my book last night around 2am, it was probably the fastest ive ever finished any novel. it was pretty good i guess even with its intensely christian theme but all in all it was good though it seemed to be missing an epilogue of sorts a too many unanswered question. i think i'll start another book before going up. went with the yg to give out school supplies today it was more enjoyable when we actually handed them to the kids in years past but neways thats one more karma point for me. thought again about going to reunion but sticking firm no reunion for me this year. well austin is less then two weeks away have to start figuring out what to take up not to mention order books, the lines at the co-op will be crazy.

no class today
summer school is finally over. truthfully i dont think i learned a darn thing in that class. but i got my credit and i really didnt expect to learn anything. im actually kinda looking forward to my fall classes except for maybe MIS. im still wondering what im gonna do about a major im a gov't major now, minoring in asian american studies and business but trying to transfer into political communication dont know how thats gonna work out. if i do in fact get into the college of comm should i change my aas and biz minor to govt and biz?

so i took up reading again. picked up a Grisham novel, one that i had bought over two years ago but never got a chance to read till now. doesnt take too much brains to read one of these 'assembly line' books no real allusions, standard syntax, simple high school vocabulary. but at least it stimulates the imagination. its been only a couple of hours but im already a quarter of the way through probably wont be able to keep up this pace but hopefully i'll finish before i leave.

sometimes i think im too much of a dreamer. in my head runs this ideal world. where everything goes just the way its suppose to. its a place where everyone smiles, no one is ever left behind, no one ever hurt and tears are only reserved for those esspecially happy times. though, knowing it only to be a fictional world i still find it to be comforting refuge from reality.

my head is spinning
lost.....confused
im gonna go find myself.

i have a hard time of letting go...

my mom gave away the bunny :-(

jerryWhOo: lets not talk about camp
jerryWhOo: *sigh* its juss that i never got a chance to do that
jerryWhOo: and it really bothers me that i had to miss my last year i needed some closure and i never got it
************: im sorry
jerryWhOo: it juss hurts so much to knoe that you have to leave sumthing that has become so much part of your life and on top of that you never really got to say your goodbyes never got to make ur last yr ur very best
************: but youre at freaking ut.
************: everyday is cyc
jerryWhOo: cyc is about the campers...you counselors really make a differance in these kids lives know it or not
jerryWhOo: when i was a camper i never cared about "camp" for its class per se expecially back in the days when all the class seemed boring but what made me come bak every yr was always the counselors and my grp and the thought that it'll be cool to be a counselor some day...believe it or not they look up to you.

decided to go pick up my brother from camp instead of paintball.
i miss camp :-*( .... but only two more years till i get to be an advisor!
haha me an advisor imagine that :-D

ive been thinking that some people just dont have any life skills and when they enter college they wont have a clue what to do. granted they might not be an idiot in fact many of these people with no life skills indeed are quite intelligent except for the fact that they dont know how to take responsibility for themselves. everything from setting the alarm clock so as to wake up in the morning to not waiting till the last pair of undies to do laundry. these are the people that will party everynight till 4am coming back wasted and wonder why they are flunking out, maybe its cause your're not going to class, yes CLASS, did that ever cross your mind?

houston is boring
23 days till austin!